Are you there Vodka? It's me, Chelsea--Book Review

Book: Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea

Author: Chelsea Handler
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Inc.
Released: 2008
No. of Pages:  295 for Hardcover
Retail Price: $16.00- paperback and $12.00 eBook
Miscellaneous: Chelsea is an actor and comedian. She has written other successful stories like “My Horizontal Life” which is basically about one night stands. The name of this book is very similar to Judy Blooms “Are you there God? It’s me, Margret.

I’m one of those writers who actually hate reading books. I probably don’t write as well as I think because I don’t like to read. I sit and read the newspaper only to pick up on their writing styles and every time I try to read the Bible, I find myself waking up when I didn’t even know that I was asleep. However, it was the title of the book that demanded my attention but I wasn’t immediately sucked in yet. I searched inside the book and saw how insipid “prepubescent boy” was thrown into the first paragraph of chapter one and it bothered me considering how ingenious the title was; she could’ve did better in describing a boy who’s penis only knows to stand up after a long dream of Spiderman saving the world before his mommy called him down for breakfast. Even still, the mentioning of a boy and puberty shouting Chelsea’s name and the fact that she was so delighted about a boy’s attention at such a young age wheeled me right on in.

The imagery that reads “After lifting up one of my earmuffs…I nervously attempted to release my wedgie…when wearing two mittens the size of car batteries” was a masterpiece since not only can you see this event, it also conveys her innocence as a 5th grader. This line had me snickering at work which is very unprofessional but anyone reading this particular literature of Chelsea Handler would tell their boss to “eff” off because it’s worth the laugh beyond a dull days work.

The extremities that Chelsea went through to explain her neglect of her homework and then to keep it going and act as if she really was playing a part as Goldie Hawn’s daughter in the also spurious Private Benjamin 2 were farfetched but brilliant. I mean, what happened to Bart Simpson’s “the dog ate my homework?”Teasing and bullying is a huge concern today and many parents of child victims that have committed suicide from being overwhelmed with the abuse only wish that there child was as inventive as the 5th grade Chelsea and would rather their child be dubiously dancing in Hair Spray 3 than committing suicide. Her lie about Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell just enticed my brain to know more about how she would handle such an intense situation. Would the other children find out and the bullying strengthens, will she actually try to jump out of her father’s ugly car and inflict pain on herself, what would happen?

   

    I understand Chelsea to be very entertaining but not horribly funny to the point that I can’t breathe or have to urinate on myself. She only gives me the snicker affect and thats only literature wise. See, I’ve never seen Handler on the big screen and from what I’ve read in the book reviews, she is much better on-screen and should stay there instead of story telling. One review read “I’ve decided that I enjoy watching Chelsea Handler much more than reading about her real life in books. I did like this book more than the first one, which was about her one night stands. I don’t want people I like to seem trashy, and thats how the first book made me feel. I still think she’s hilarious...I had one “one night stand”  and I did but didn’t understand her POV. You like Handler but you don't like where she is from. Maybe her up-brining and way of life made Chelsea this funny person that this reviewer enjoys only on screen and not while reading her life stories. Some of the stories in her book probably never happened or weren’t as dramatic as they appear to be without a little exaggeration. However, the reviewer turns around to say that she has been in a one night stand so in telling a story, this proves that your audience is attracted to real situations whether they like to look trashy or not. Does it take 2 one night stands to seem trashy or 1?

Before I checked the bestsellers list, I had never heard of Chelsea Handler. I’ve learned that she is not only an author and comedian; she’s also the host of her own show on E!talk, Chelsea Lately.  In addition, NBC announced that they may possibly produce a comedy series based on this book and reviews show that neither fans nor NBC network consumers are thrilled. Chelsea has her share of those that devour her humor and she also has a huge share of those that thinks she’s cornier than corn which might explain why the name of her book is very similar (being an understatement) to Judy Blooms “Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret or is she so talented that she can back it up.

    One of my favorite quotes read  "At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer." I thought that this was extremely funny and realistic. This kind of stuff only happens on TV or once in a lifetime. Most likely if you fall, you either pick yourself up or someone will hep you up and it will most likely be another female before a male nowadays because chivalry acts have gone extinct. Most time I fall from being intoxicated with vodka and my friends pick me up so this is oh so true. I haven’t really seen where Chelsea made a huge dent in history however; her honestly allows her to be an author that humorously lets all her skeletons out of the closet and the first author revealing that she has done drugs with her gynecologist.

Museum of African Art

Smithsonian Museum of African Art

Late 20^th Century

Samburu Peoples, Kenya

The beaded earrings that the Samburu Tribe in Kenya wears are primarily ‘hawt.’ They are made from wire, beads, and buttons. Captivating my attention through their huge, colorful, and unique form, I further learned that these earrings had a symbolic reason to be worn. Unlike America, Kenya has fashionable materials that are used to “declare your cultural identity and social” class.

The Stylish Briefcase

Made Throughout Africa

The corporate world in Africa has gone silly! When America thinks of a briefcase, we think strictly business. Although Wall Street will make you money, doing business is as boring as sitting in your 10^th grade social studies class. The reinvention of the briefcase was crafted with ousted soda cans, comic pages, and mass-produced grocery containers. Yes, the briefcase is stylish eye candy to the average employee of a U.S. government agency, private company etc., bored out of their minds during their 8 hour tour of duty, even though they may stereotype how serious you take your job!

Toy Sewing Machine and Toy Bicycle

Undetermined Peoples, South Africa

These toys are made with the simplest materials that cost almost nothing. The same plastic bag that you threw away, the wired bra or earrings that you no longer needed, and paint make these toys popular and available for tourist market. The materials that American toys are made with are much more complex unnecessary. The same child that will play with this bicyclist and sewing machine could almost make the toy their self.

The Stylish Briefcase, the huge cell phone, and wooden ladder are three familiar images in my additional selected artwork. The briefcase reminds me of the Greenberg & Bederman, LLP commercial. Although I don’t remember a briefcase physically being in the commercial, the seriousness of their theme just looks like they should be holding one. The huge cell phone reminds me of every competing cell phone company and iCarly. The cell phone in the museum is huge, it’s taller than I am and I’m 5”8”. Today’s use of a cell phone is a huge deal; especially amongst our generation and the upcoming generation. iCarly is a show within a show where technology is everything to these high school students who’ve created web show that unnecessarily crumbles every time some use of technology is unavailable.  The wooden ladder reminds me of the Geico infomercials because it shows a bunch of cavemen still struggling to adapt to today’s way of life.

This artwork gets borrowed back in forth when Sprint is comparing their touch screen cell phone to an ancient AT&T phone that’s still in stores today. They show how far we’ve come in technology and the use of media. The ‘art-ness’ of the images don’t change, it just makes it more and more interesting.

 

Anything that shows some symbolic meaning is art. It’s not the earrings made by the Samburu People that’s art, it’s the fact that they symbolize a social class without verbal communication. Africa has their own way of communicating without their standard word exchange; now that’s art. I look at go-go music that is only played in DC as art. That’s something that only the African American culture and younger generations understand. It’s not just an expression through song; it’s the dirty buckets and the tree branches that they used to bang the pain out on the buckets with that makes it art!

There were many books that can easily be purchased; however, I found that the Exhibition Dialogues would have been great in better interpreting the symbols behind the artwork that many se and fell but don’t understand such as myself. I’m not sure who gets to direct and act on what in the museum; however, I know that I contributed to the museum and there exhibits so I would assume that we, the people pay for these special exhibits. Although short films are great for some down time and learning during the museum visit, yet, they should have had something interactive. There were a lot of painting exhibitions and a small craft exercise that showed how deep some of the artwork was, using our own expressions would have been great, every half hour. I’m not sure what should have been in the gift shop because I enjoyed the many gadgets that they did sell. They sold little music toys that the African culture used during their ceremonies…they actually worked too!

Major Boyz: Goo Marley, Pink Dogg, King Shug & Shy Glizzy- FOREVER

Media That Matters: Story Telling-Field Trip #1

"The public doesn't connect to groups or institutions, they connect to people!" That's the 'duh' quote that finally captivated my interest after sitting for about 15 minutes. When  Katy Chevigny reiterated the quote from whoever told it to her, it was like 'duh,' this is so simple now.

When telling a story, people connect to real stories with other people. One example that Katy gave was a documentary that she produced called Pushing the Elephant (click to watch the trailer). It was about a lady named Rose Mapendo from Tutsi, Congo who was separated from one of her 10 children during a violent war. Her daughter was 5 years old when she had to leave Congo and relocate to Arizona, thinking that her daughter was dead. Almost a decade later, Rose and her daughter reunited to start a better life. If you look at the title, you would think that it's a documentary from a discovery channel about elephants but it's as simple as unity. You can't push an elephant alone but if you unite no matter what the circumstances, the elephant will move! This wasn't just a story, it was a intimate recount because Katy and her crew had to relive Congo refugees struggle, pain and emotions with them.

Stories have been told for decades in many ways but what matters is that what you are saying matters to your subject. While watching the video, it created an emotion of caring and sympathy, which is a sign of connecting with your subject. You always want a response from your subject.

Besides connecting with your subject and the positives about collaborative film making, there are some steps that I learned in producing great stories.

Below are some factors that we should consider in story telling.
Pre pitch Stage
-How do you want to represent the reality of the story that you are trying to tell.
- Cliche story telling isn't bad but try to use them as rules???
-What is the best approach to your subject?
- What is your subjects interest?

Ask Yourself
- What is the story I am seeing before me?
- Am I asking myself the hard questions and not the complex questions?
- What is my philosophy about the world and how it works?
- How does my philosophy tie into the story that I am trying to tell now?

My Trip to MTM with Sora

Sora on the train to Tenleytown Metro

The blue bus shuttle that Sora did not wait patiently for but I did!:)



Me, in the wrong registration line after riding pass the correct AU campus!




Cool Moe Sora...



Sora is getting his name written on a sticker since he didn't follow Hanff's directions for registration!



Katy Chevigny was the Key Note Speaker for the night.




Yes, I was a little bored so I started a photo shoot during the presentation.



Usually people get two thumbs up but it's cool!

Sora, paying attention...




I was utilizing a great feature in my HTC Evo smart phone and snapped the one and only, Professor Hanff!



I'm leaving now because it's getting late and I have to do this all over again tomorrow...thanks for the opportunity!